Cigarettes and lollipops, mad magazine and white socks…
I wonder if anyone ever remembers me and thinks, “I miss her, i wonder how she’s doing” because I think that of people every day. If you miss someone fucking tell them!!!!! It would make me insanely happy to receive a text message from an old friend saying they were thinking about me. I can’t be the only one.
February 22nd
It’s been about a month and a half since I’ve last written. I’m having a hard time opening up my book and writing down my thoughts, which are no longer inspired by him. Don’t write too much about one person because they’ll leave, then every time you open up your notebook you’ll feel nauseous and regret picking it back up. I guess I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. I regret the things we promised we’d do together but never did. Near the end he stopped listening every time I told him I loved him. Although, I was still so sure about him.
3 years later we’ve done everything we talked about doing…things can change…things can be GOOD
October 4, 2015 12:43 AM
I wouldn’t be this way if I knew how not to be. We make me so happy. It’s kinda like how your eyes focus on one thing for so long everything else looks blurry, that’s how I felt after looking at him. I’m happy, but where do you go when sleep doesn’t fix you? Sleep doesn’t relieve me of my exhaustion anymore. Even the strongest find themselves crying on the bathroom floor sometimes. Last night I had a dream I stood next to an abandoned building and the people passing by couldn’t tell us apart, the building, that is. You weren’t there. I self identify with that abandoned building, we’ve both been haunted for years. I think I should leave my pens and markers at home because i find myself writing your name in places you’ll never see. People ask me about you, all I can mention are your eyes deep enough to stand in. Sometimes I think about how I’d feel if you decided you didn’t want to do this anymore. My knees gave out at the thought of you loving someone else. I can’t imagine never hearing your laugh or your sleepy voice again, I love you so much and I am so happy you’re around.
September 18, 2015 12:54 AM
I’m holding my pillow, always wishing it were him. He holds the entire sky in his hands, and the sky is just the beginning. My favorite boy, he’s all I can think about. The way his eyes remind me of an ocean. He is an insomniacs first sip of coffee after a sleepless night. I like to think him entering my life was God’s way of saying “life gets better”.
Ernest Volynec / A Better World Is Possible / 32″ x 24″ (80 x 60 cm), oil on canvas
Shop - ernestvolynec.bigcartel.com
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